Shena Humbert, LVT
April 17, 2019
"Compassion Fatigue is a state experienced by those helping people or animals in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create a secondary traumatic stress for the helper."
Dr. Charles Figley Professor, Paul Henry Kurzweg Distinguished Chair Director, Tulane Traumatology Institute Tulane University, New Orleans, LA
I remember seeing, reading, and hearing these words within my last ten years in practice, but I never knew what it meant. The words seemed obvious, but I had not yet experienced them. I suppose we do not truly believe in things until we’ve been through them. This was not something I was taught in school or trained for, although I should have been.
In the United States, the state you live in determines their technician laws. To be licensed you must have graduated from an accredited Veterinary Technical program and passed the Veterinary Technician National Examination (VTNE), or you have enough field work experience to count as schooling and you just need to pass the VTNE. You then have to take and pass a state exam for the state you live in. Not all states require a license to practice as a technician. This leads me to another reason for feeling devalued and fatigued. Why even attend school? They could pay anyone the same as you who did not have to invest in four years of college. I personally believe this creates intense hostility between staff members. The turnover rate is extremely high because of constant stress, long hours, short staffing, physical and mental strain, and you receive a paycheck that does not reflect the troubles. Also, much like doctors, we have to keep up with our continuing education (CE) every year or two (depending on the state). It is a lot of work for what seems like very little benefit.
My Story
I have always loved working with animals, especially in emergency medicine. I love the thrill of emergency because there is never a dull moment. Like Forrest Gump, “you never know what you’re gonna get” through the door! Being able to save a life is the most rewarding experience in the world. Sending home a hit by car (HBC) days later feels amazing.
Now it’s hard to remember any of the good times. I seem to only fixate on the bad. At the time I never realized this was what I was going through. Looking back, it all seems so obvious. We’re taught that it’s OK to be sad but it’s something you deal with on your own time and not at work. Sometimes you’re too busy or in shock to even think about what happened. The problem with the “deal with it later” theory is that I never dealt with it. It stayed with me for years until I finally snapped. Sometimes even dealing with it doesn’t even help. You still feel guilty and responsible. What could I have done better? I still think about certain cases and hold guilt to this day. Even over things I had zero control over. It wasn’t my responsibility to make someone euthanize their dog when it was clearly the right thing to do. I’ll never forget the pain I saw in that dogs’ eyes. I can still see him looking at me while his owner is on the phone deciding what to do. When will something so obvious to me be obvious to that one owner? Maybe they don’t know what it does to us. Maybe they think we’re only about the money. If that were the case would I have cried for two days over having to euthanize a newborn puppy born with intestines on the outside and still went back to work the next day? It went against everything I have ever been taught. I had to remind myself of the Oath is “end all suffering”. I still feel the guilt over that to this day even though I know I did the right thing. When does it become easier? Definitely not the time an owner came covered in blood carrying her golden retriever who had been hit by a car. The dog was under a year old and her jaw was fractured. There was no saving her. How does one just walk away from those moments without being affected? After that incident I quit and decided to take a break from the veterinary field. That was in 2017 and I’m still on break. I also had some medical issues that needed to be addressed, but if I’m being honest it was my way out. I jumped on it.
During this break I have learned much about myself. I would never compare myself or any of us to the military, but I do have moments of what I believe are PTSD. I’ve heard kids screaming outside and thought it was a dog in pain or waking from anesthesia. I get panic attacks walking into a veterinary clinic to take my own dogs. I recently had an interview for a reception position at one and almost cancelled because I was so scared. I figured reception would be a nice baby step back into the field, but I still panicked.
I do find myself considerably less stressed since being out of the field. I don’t have to worry about working long hours or weekends or having to cover someone’s shift because they were out drinking the night before (you’re lying if you say it doesn’t happen). I drank considerably more when I was in the field. I’ve also learned that the field has aged my body more than I’d like to admit. I guess you could say I was naïve or ignorant to not see those things coming. We all learn from our journey. I just happened to learn when it was too late.
My Goal
For a while now, I’ve asked myself what I want to do instead? Is there another career I can pursue? Do I want to go back to school? Maybe I want to transfer to human medicine? I have pursed some of those options, but none have completed my soul like working with animals does. Since I was 11 years old, I knew I wanted to work with animals and there is nothing else I know. As corny as it may sound, I feel like I was born to work with animals.
While I continue to be a “stay at home dog mom” I have started my own vet tech support group through Instagram and Facebook. It has since developed into a support/educational group for all veterinary staff members. I share VTNE prep material and daily positivity while spreading awareness of compassion fatigue, burnout, depression, PTSD, and suicide. My goal is to raise awareness of mental illness within the veterinary field while providing people with similar experiences with various materials in hopes of preventing field fatigue from happening. I wanted a place where veterinary staff members feel welcome, safe, and valued. We don’t always get that in the clinics or even in our own homes. Of course, I am in no way a medical professional. This group is strictly for personal use.
I have received so much love since starting the Instagram group. I have over a thousand followers and counting. It is such an incredible feeling having all these technicians, soon to be technicians, and even some doctors coming together to support each other. That’s the one thing I never felt I had in the field: support. Whether it be physically, mentally, or verbally, it always felt like every tech for themselves. That’s not how it should be. We all go through the stresses together and we should always have one another’s backs. At the end of the day we are all the same. Despite our differences, we are people who had a dream of working with animals. It’s about the animals that deserves a chance.
In conclusion I feel the importance of mental health in the veterinary community is overlooked. I personally believe if we do not do something to increase the wellbeing of our veterinary staff members, we are going to continue to see depression, compassion fatigue, PTSD, and even suicide. This group is my way of giving back to the field and the staff within it in hopes to end the stigma that is associated with it. If I teach my followers anything, I hope it is to put yourself first. To give yourself the same care and attention you so freely give to others. You deserve it.